All based on true experiences!
1. Make me flex my arm and feel my bicep to see if I really work out. The fact that you are a doctor makes me worry that you'll personally examine me for STDs before sex.
2. Talk about how your best friend, the coroner, saw 28 bodies compressed into a blob the size of a suitcase after an airplane crash. I guess it's one way to get me to lose my appetite and cut down on the size of the check.
3. Drone on about quarks and other aspects of physics for one solid hour. Then chuckle and say you have been described as "Cliff Claven if he were good looking."
4. Tell me you left your wife after she was diagnosed with cancer and had a hysterectomy, cuz, well, she couldn't satisfy your needs anymore. I really believe you when you say she gave you her blessing.
5. Order a third glass of wine after I tell you that my ex has alcohol problems. Then let me know how you and the bartender are great buddies. Is your name NORM, for Christ's sake?
6. Email me photos of your erection with my name written next to it. (Although it is impressive as I have a LONG name).
7. Talk to every stranger in a crowd like you are the host of your own reality show. What? Is this date being televised?
8. Excuse yourself to go to the men's room 8 times in one evening. What the hell ARE you doing in there?
9. Take 3 extended phone calls on your iPhone while we are eating to gab with your college-aged kids. Do you think THEY take your calls during dates, dude?
10. Tell me that your last relationship ended because you got caught two-timing on your girlfriend with your ex-fiancee, just after you asked her to move in.
11. Describe to me in detail just how much of an asshole you were while you were an alcoholic. Um, I guess I can relate to being married to a guy like you.
12. Gush about how you are so worried about how your baby is doing during the date. That would be fine if we were talking about a child, but in this case, it's a puppy.
13. Tell me about the unusual sexuality of your last two girlfriends, whom you dated for an extended period of time. Sorry, dude, but I still don't get the difference between being bisexual and "pansexual." Now I'm wondering what strange diseases you might be carrying.
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