18 Signs that Your Date is Thouroughly DRUNK

While most of us instinctively know a drunk date when we see one, apparently the folks in Oregon are a little naive. That's why the thoughtful people at the Oregon Liquor Control Commission took it upon themselves to pull together a piece educating their citizens on the "Signs of Visible Intoxication." We can just imagine some dude printing out the list, going into the urinal and checking it off. "Yup, she's ready now!"

Here's some of the brilliant insights they've assembled to help us detect drunkenness in our dates:

1. Rambling train of thought
2. Lack of focus and eye contact
3. Bravado, boasting
4. Overly animated or entertaining
5. Making irrational statements
6. Slow response to questions or comments
7. Loud, noisy speech
8. Careless with money
9. Annoying other guests and employees
10. Argumentative
11. Aggressive or belligerent
12. Obnoxious or mean
13. Making inappropriate comments about others
14. Crude behavior
15. Foul language
16. Mussed hair
17. Disheveled clothing
18. Inappropriate sexual advances
    
    Is it us, or based on these observations is Rush Limbaugh wasted 24/7?

Still not sure? Then look up the complete list of "50 Signs of Visible Intoxication" from the Oregon Liquor Control Commission...