13 Signs That Your Fling has Flung (dating humor)

How do you know if romance is really retreating? Here are 13 signals!

1. No longer holding hands in movies or farts in bed


2. Texting during foreplay


3. Fewer comments about your sister's rack


4. Blow jobs now on third Tuesday of the month only


5. No longer putting down toilet seat . . . or flushing . . . or wiping . . .


6. Discrete calls in the middle of the day just to berate you


7. Dog more excited to see him or her than you are


8. Dog providing more intimate conversations than him or her


9. Going from casual complaining to friends to creating a dedicated blog


10. Holding door only if some hottie is walking in behind you


11. Suggesting you try a third


12. Only staying together for the cats' sake


13. "As Good as it Gets" has given way to "As Engorged as it Gets"